Gary Brandt delivers an emotionally explosive chapter from The Dimension Of Mind Dot Com that transforms Roxana from the group's spiritual anchor into a thirteen-year-old girl facing the most terrifying crisis of her life: the possibility that she might actually be normal.
In her lavender-scented sanctuary decorated with heroes like Mother Teresa and Florence Nightingale, Roxana confronts Helana about her obvious romantic feelings for Ella, demanding promises that she'll never harm the ones she loves.
Their conversation flows beautifully through telepathy mechanics (Helana sends thoughts, not words, so everyone hears their own language), but takes a devastating turn when Helana offers 'advice from someone who's glimpsed your future.' The interdimensional being suggests that Roxana's most likely path involves privilege, love, marriage, and children—but also crushing guilt for enjoying life instead of suffering for others, which would diminish her ability to serve those in need.
The revelation hits Roxana like a freight train because she's literally never considered dating, marriage, or kids—her entire thirteen-year-old identity is built around becoming a nun and serving others through sacrifice.
Brandt brilliantly captures the panic of having your whole life plan shattered in one conversation: 'Dating? Marriage? Kids? I don't even have clothes for a date.
I'm going to be sick!' She banishes Helana to the perfume bottle and spirals into a midnight meltdown that requires Ella's mom to wake her daughter for crisis intervention.
Ella's response is perfect—reassuring Roxana that she has years to figure things out, that Helana isn't the boss of her future, and that 'the right person will find you' when she's ready.
The chapter ends at 2 a.m.
with Ella exhausted but understanding: 'Dating and marriage are scary to think about...
I've thought about it for years, but Roxana, planning to be a nun, never did—until it all hit her at once.' It's a masterful exploration of how supernatural revelations can trigger the most human vulnerabilities, as a girl who planned to sacrifice everything for others discovers she might actually want something for herself.