The Sins Of Elina

Alannah waits quietly at the bus stop. Only a few days ago, she stood here, trapped in a timeless void, with no past and a future that felt like a repeat of yesterday. Her once-dull, unfocused eyes now shine with excitement, eagerly taking in a world brimming with possibilities. Today, she’s heading back to the small clinic just outside the city for a follow-up on her reconstitution therapy. That first visit was filled with fear, but now Alannah is thrilled to return.

The bus rises to its cruising altitude, about 100 feet above the pedestrian path, and picks up speed. As the cityscape glides past her window, Alannah reflects on how much has changed. When she first arrived in Crystal City, it was just a short row of wooden buildings along a dirt road. Now, it’s a bustling metropolis, alive with people hurrying about their lives.

Alannah thinks about those still trapped, like she once was, in a cycle of forgetfulness, reliving the same day endlessly. She considers starting a mission to free these lost souls from their temporal prisons. But today, her mind is on her sister, Elina, whom she misses deeply. The bus finally reaches its last stop, and Alannah steps off, practically skipping down the cobblestone path toward a quaint gated cottage.

Alannah checks her appointment slip to confirm she’s at the right place and time. She is. “Welcome, my sister,” Maureen greets her warmly, as she does all her patients. “I can see the progress in your therapy just by the sparkle in your eyes. You don’t need to say a word. How can I help you today? Do you want to search for more people from your past? Need more sketches to help you remember them?”

“No, thank you, Maureen,” Alannah replies. “I have plenty of sketches. I need more than pictures—I want to touch them, feel them, hug them, kiss them, hold them close. During my last session, you mentioned you might have an address for my sister, Elina. She’s the one I miss most. You said she’s like me, alone, with no other family. That’s what I want to focus on today—finding Elina.”

“My goodness, Alannah,” Maureen says, impressed. “You’re my most advanced patient. It usually takes months, even years, for someone to reach this stage of seeking lost loved ones. But I must warn you: you may not find what you expect, and you need to be ready for disappointment. Are you prepared for that? It could be painful.”

A hint of fear creeps into Alannah’s heart as she asks, “What kind of disappointment? You mean I might not find her?”

“It’s more complex than that,” Maureen explains. “We might not locate her at all, or we could find her domain but be unable to enter it. Even if we do get inside, we might still not find her. And finding her could be the easy part. She might not recognize you, or she might not want anything to do with you. In the worst cases I’ve seen, people find their loved ones, bring them back, and then their lives get tangled up in ways they never imagined. There’s a real risk of heartbreak. Do you still want to go forward?”

“Absolutely,” Alannah says with an eager smile. “My life has been so dull for so long that any complication would be a welcome change. Elina was always complex and hard to figure out, so I’m used to that. Let’s do it!”

“Alright then, we’ll do it!” Maureen says, catching Alannah’s enthusiasm. “First, I’ll draw a quick sketch to focus my mind and guide us toward Elina.” She grabs a small pad, sketches a face, and hands it to Alannah for approval.

“Yes, that’s the Elina I remember,” Alannah confirms, nodding at the sketch’s accuracy.

Maureen starts a second sketch and passes it to Alannah. “I’m confused,” Alannah says, frowning. “This is an elderly woman. Who’s this?”

“Ah,” Maureen replies gently. “I warned you that you might not find what you expect. You left Earth at 27, and now you look about 30. Elina left Earth at 75, and I sense she’s kept that form. Your dream of running around Capitol City with your little sister, having fun adventures, might not happen. She’s an elderly woman now, and you may not have much in common. Do you still want to continue?”

“Ugh, I hadn’t thought of that,” Alannah admits. “But you don’t know Elina. She’d probably love hitting the bars and shopping for clothes at 75 just as much as someone who’s 25. So let’s keep going.”

“I see you’re planning to bring her here and do things that cost a lot of money,” Maureen says, looking concerned. “Do you have the means to support that?”

“Ha!” Alannah laughs. “I just found this out myself, but I’m actually pretty wealthy. For years—longer than I can remember—I just worked and slept. I paid my bills, and whatever credits I had left went into the bank. With interest, I’ve got more than enough to take care of Elina and anyone else I might find.”

“That’s great to hear,” Maureen says with a wide smile. “Maybe when you’re back, we can talk about a loan to expand my clinic!” They both laugh.

After a brief meditation, Maureen jots down some notes. “Here’s what I see, Alannah. As I mentioned before, Elina is still herself, in the form she had when she left Earth. But here’s where it gets strange. Elina is a unique soul. We’re all beings of consciousness who took physical form on Earth, most recently as humans. As consciousness, we’re infinite, part of the All That Is. But we’re not aware of that infinity—our awareness is like a small bubble within consciousness, the ‘I’ that you know as yourself.

“On Earth, at level 3 of existence, we’re inside a larger bubble that holds the entire universe and others that are out of phase with our Earth. Here, where the dimensional density is lighter, our bubbles of awareness are smaller, and we can create many different realities, unlike the single reality we’re stuck with on Earth. This has been common knowledge since the great awakening.

“What we don’t fully understand yet are the domain managers—those whose bubble of awareness, their domain, hosts many other souls manifesting as humans or other forms. That’s still mostly a mystery. We do know that domain hosts, like the one for Crystal City, are usually highly evolved beings with long histories across many lives and realities.”

“Okay, I’m still new to this, but I think I get the basics,” Alannah says. “My boss at the diner explained some of it. So what does this have to do with Elina? What kind of domain is she in?”

“That’s the odd part,” Maureen replies. “Elina is alone, but not like you. You’re alone, without family, in a domain with millions of souls. Elina is alone in a domain of one. She’s the domain manager, the host. That suggests she’s a highly evolved being. Normally, beings like her attract others to share their domain. But she’s alone. That’s what’s strange.”

“Believe me, Elina has always been a little odd,” Alannah says with a laugh. “So I’m not surprised she’s still an outsider, even in this existence. Go on, I sense you have more to say about her unusual behavior.”

“Yes, I do,” Maureen replies. “I feel that her domain is a dark one, a Hades-class, like her own personal hell. Elina has all the traits of an enlightened being, and such beings don’t usually create their own torment. This is very strange. Because it’s so unusual, I’m not sure it’s safe for you to visit her. If, for instance, she’s lost her sanity and she’s the host of her domain, there’s a risk you might struggle to leave once you’re inside. Are you sure you want to take that chance?”

“Hmm, that’s a bit frightening,” Alannah admits. “But it’s something I have to do. If Elina’s in trouble, I need to see what’s going on. She might need help. Maybe I should bring someone more experienced along. Are you free?” she asks with a smile.

Maureen grins widely. “I was just wondering how I could tag along. This sounds like an intriguing adventure. Let me grab my things, and we’ll get started.”

Alannah and Maureen head back into town to catch a transport to Elina’s domain. Maureen isn’t entirely sure of the coordinates, and they’ll need to set up a trans-dimensional conduit to enter, unless the domain is sealed. If it’s blocked, they might not get in at all.

“So, Maureen,” Alannah asks, “when we go to Elina’s domain, are we basically stepping inside her mind?”

“You could think of it that way,” Maureen replies. “A domain is a part of an infinite expanse that forms into a region of awareness where a local space-time can exist, and we can manifest within it. We don’t fully understand how it works—it’s like digesting food; it just happens naturally, and we don’t need to think about it. So saying it’s ‘in her head’ or not isn’t really the point. It just exists.”

“Do you think she knows we’re coming?” Alannah asks.

“She might, but I doubt it,” Maureen says. “She’ll definitely know when we arrive.”

The two leave the bus station and head to the transport station. Maureen has booked a transport, and Alannah covers the fare. “Wow,” Alannah says, “I just realized this is the first time I’ve ever left Crystal City. I’m a little nervous.”

The transport zooms toward the edge of Crystal City and then stops. The pilot and co-pilot are adjusting equipment. “We’re calibrating the TDC, ma’am,” the co-pilot says. “It’ll just take a moment. The coordinates you gave us are tricky to lock onto, so please bear with us.”

“What do you think we’ll find in there?” Alannah asks Maureen.

“It’s hard to say,” Maureen replies. “These domains can be anything their host imagines. Hades-class domains are usually unpleasant, created as places of torment for souls who feel they deserve punishment. This might not be enjoyable at all.”

“Ma’am,” the pilot interrupts, “we had trouble finding an entry point because the domain was too hot. A cooler spot has appeared, but we can’t enter directly. We can activate the TDC and dock alongside, and you’ll have to walk from there. Are you sure you want to go in? We might not be able to get you back out.”

“We’ll be fine,” Alannah says confidently. “I don’t know how I know, but I just do. And she knows we’re here—that’s why the cool spot appeared. We’ll be okay.”

The hovercraft approaches a swirling vortex at the edge of Crystal City’s domain and opens its side door. On the other side is a rocky pathway with cool water flowing over it. Beyond, a deep red glow lights up the entire domain.

“Are you ready?” Alannah asks Maureen, seeking a bit of reassurance.

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” Maureen replies. “Let’s do this!”

They carefully step out of the craft onto the rocky path. As they start walking, the TDC vortex and the craft disappear behind them. They’re alone in a barren landscape, like a fresh lava flow, with fire and hot rocks all around except for the cool spot where they stand. As they move forward, cool water rises from the ground, keeping the path safe for them to continue.

“See, I told you she’s here,” Alannah says. “How else could this be happening? We’d have burned up by now.”

“It might be automatic,” Maureen says, “but I think you’re right. She’s welcoming us into her domain. Let’s see where this path takes us.” She gestures for Alannah to follow.

For over an hour, they follow the winding path through a scorched desert and into a dense forest of oddly shaped boulders. Eventually, they reach a clearing. In the center is a table and chair, where a small elderly woman sits, surrounded by stacks of books, papers, and magazines. She’s hunched over, reading a newspaper. When she finishes a page, she tosses it into a nearby pool of lava, where it burns instantly. The two approach cautiously until they’re right in front of her. Elina doesn’t look up. She simply says, “Okay, Alannah. You’re here. What do you want?”

“I want to tell you how much I love you, how much I miss you, and I want to catch up on all the years we’ve lost,” Alannah says. “Put that paper down and look at me. I want to see your face.”

“Still bossy after all these years, huh?” Elina replies, looking up at Alannah. “Have a seat, girls.” Two chairs appear, and Alannah and Maureen sit down. “So, who’s your friend, Alannah? Is she one of your lovers from that women-only domain you live in?”

“Her name is Maureen, and she’s not my lover,” Alannah clarifies. “I don’t have any lovers, and our domain isn’t what you’re implying. It’s all women, but that doesn’t mean we’re all romantic with each other just because we live there.”

“Yeah? Whatever works for you,” Elina says. “I love you too, and I miss you too. Our story’s simple: we’re both dead. Now why don’t you two go back to your women’s world and have a nice life?”

“I’m not dead, and neither are you,” Alannah insists. “We have a lot to catch up on, Elina. And just because you’re appearing as an old woman here, I’m still your big sister, and I’m not leaving until I get some answers.” She stares at her sister with a determination that won’t accept refusal.

“So the only way to get rid of you is to answer your silly questions?” Elina says. “Fine, go ahead and ask. But you might not like the answers, so be careful what you ask for.”

“Alright,” Alannah begins. “First, how did you know where I live? How did you know we were coming? And why on earth are you in this hell?”

“I sensed you coming,” Elina explains. “When your transport arrived, they announced where it was from. I’ve read about your domain in the papers. And I’m in hell because that’s where everyone thinks I belong.”

“Who thinks that? Not me,” Alannah says. “I’ve always known you as the most sensitive and caring person. Why do you think you belong in hell?”

“Everyone except you, then. Big deal,” Elina says bitterly. “Try being caring and sensitive in a world full of fearful, hateful people and see how far it gets you. You get used, trampled, and damned to hell. Trust me, I know.”

“Elina, there’s no one else here but you,” Alannah points out. “You’re creating this hell. Maureen says you’re a highly evolved being who could manifest a paradise. Why choose hell?”

“I’m alone now, sure,” Elina admits. “But it wasn’t always like that. There used to be many others here, lots of them. They’re gone now—graduated, you know.”

“Graduated?” Alannah asks. “How do you graduate from hell?”

“Same as graduating from anything else,” Elina says. “You learn your lessons, take a test, and if you pass, you move on. It’s not complicated.”

“So you turned your hell into a school?” Alannah asks, surprised.

“Isn’t that what hell’s supposed to be?” Elina snaps. “Did I mess that up too? Are you here to judge me and tell me how I got everything wrong?”

“No, not at all,” Alannah reassures her. “I think turning hell into a place where people can graduate is wonderful. It’s exactly the kind of thing my caring, loving sister would do. So why are you still here? Why haven’t you graduated?”

“I can’t graduate because I can’t pass the first test,” Elina says quietly.

“What test is that?” Alannah asks.

“The one where you accept guilt and take responsibility for your sins,” Elina explains. “I’ve never accepted that I’m guilty of anything. I haven’t sinned, not in any way I’d call a sin. So, since I have no sins to feel guilty about, I can’t accept the guilt, and I can’t pass the test.”

“That’s nonsense, Elina!” Alannah exclaims. “You’re making this all up! Create something better for yourself.”

“I’m used to it,” Elina says with a shrug. “I like it this way. I’ve got my books, magazines, and papers to keep up with what’s happening in other domains. It’s all pretty foolish, but it keeps me entertained.”

“Tell me how you ended up here, Elina,” Alannah urges. “Why did you choose to create a hell?”

“It wasn’t exactly my choice,” Elina says. “Most of my life, people told me I’d burn in hell—usually right after some woman noticed her husband was much happier after visiting me. A few times, I was called Satan himself in the form of a woman. Even my own kids said I was evil and ruined their lives. When I died, I thought all that was behind me. Everyone was crying, saying they loved me. So I headed straight for the pearly gates, expecting to walk right in. But then I had this life review, and all those women and their husbands went on about how I destroyed their marriages and tore their families apart, saying I didn’t belong in their precious heaven. So I created this place instead.”

“Pearly gates? I’ve heard about them, but I’ve never been to a domain like that. Does it really exist?” Alannah asks.

“She was a traditionalist,” Maureen interjects. “You became religious later in life, didn’t you, Elina?”

“Yeah, I suppose so,” Elina replies. “I started going to church, mostly for the kids and grandkids. I heard all about the afterlife, heaven, the pearly gates—the whole deal. But I’m glad they didn’t let me in. I wouldn’t have been happy there. I’m content here. I’ve found my peace.”

“Where do you get all these books and things?” Alannah asks.

“They appear here as soon as they’re printed in other domains,” Elina explains. “That’s how I keep up with things. I’ve thought about adding video, but I have plenty of time, so reading is enough.”

“Where do you live, sleep, or eat? All I see is this chair and table in the middle of nowhere,” Alannah says.

“I don’t eat, sleep, or need anything else,” Elina says. “I just sit here and read. That’s all I require. I already have everything I need.”

“Elina, come on! I’m your sister, remember? I know you,” Alannah insists. “This is nonsense. You deserve better. I’m getting you out of here. Somehow, we’re going to leave, and you’re coming to live with me.”

“There’s a lot you don’t understand, Alannah,” Elina says. “I might ruin things for you in your domain, just like I did on Earth. You’re better off leaving me here. I’m happy. Go home and be happy too. Besides, I can’t leave—I can’t pass the test.”

“Then confess some small sin, take responsibility, and let’s get out of this hell, okay?” Alannah urges.

“I haven’t sinned,” Elina says firmly.

“Yes, you have,” Alannah counters. “You stole my makeup and then broke it. Remember?”

“That wasn’t a sin,” Elina says. “You all deserved it.”

“What? How did we deserve it?” Alannah asks, surprised.

“We were only fourteen months apart, and I was already more outgoing than you,” Elina explains. “There was no reason we couldn’t get makeup at the same time. Mom deliberately favored you and rubbed it in my face, saying I could’ve had some too if I wasn’t so bad. I wasn’t bad—I tried so hard to please her, but nothing worked. She blamed me for everything, punished me just for existing. If anything went wrong or she was in a bad mood, it was my fault. When I finally stood up to her, she got angrier, even making up lies to tell Dad. She lied to you too, so you’d hate me. So yeah, I broke your makeup, but it wasn’t about you. It was better than the other things I was thinking. That wasn’t a sin, Alannah—it was the only justice I could find.”

“I didn’t realize you resented her so much,” Alannah says softly.

“I didn’t hate her,” Elina clarifies. “I loved her deeply and tried every way I could to show it. I cried myself to sleep thinking of ways to reach her heart. But something was wrong with her—some deep fear she projected onto me, and I could never understand why.”

“Forget Mom, then,” Alannah says. “What about Louis, the boy I liked? I shared my deepest secret with you, and you used it against me. You picked him out of all the boys—any of whom you could’ve had—and I found you two in the woods doing… whatever it was you were doing. That was a sin. Own up to that one.”

“I can’t—it wasn’t a sin,” Elina says. “I was trying to help you. I talked to Louis in town and told him you liked him so you could get together. He said we needed to discuss something and suggested the woods for privacy. Then he told me about all the girls he’d been with and how he thought I was beautiful and wanted me instead of you. He started grabbing me, kissing me, and I thought if I didn’t go along, he might hurt me or worse. Louis was trouble, Alannah, and I saved you from him. I couldn’t tell you the truth because you’d have told Dad, and Dad would’ve killed him. I kept it to myself to protect everyone. So I can’t confess it as a sin—it wasn’t one.”

“I didn’t know,” Alannah says, her voice heavy with regret. “I’m so sorry, Elina. Why didn’t you tell me when we were older?”

“Because you didn’t get older, remember? You died,” Elina says. “You got married in 1875 and moved to San Francisco in 1877. I moved to Denver in 1878 with my husband. Those were busy years, and we planned to visit once we settled and had kids. Then Mom and Dad vanished. Letters stopped coming, and ours were returned. Neighbors said Mom died suddenly, and Dad packed up and moved north without leaving an address. Brionna, the wealthy one whose husband went into banking, went back in 1881 to look for Dad but found nothing. In 1882, you died. I never got the chance to talk to you as adults, so a lot went unsaid.”

“Until now,” Alannah says. “Wow, that explains so much. I’d forgotten almost everything from those days. Now I understand why I have issues with Dad. I remember now—we weren’t even sure if Mom died naturally or if he killed her and left town. Brionna said he burned her body on a funeral pyre with all her things, even our letters. Anything tied to her, he burned. Then he vanished without a trace, never meeting his grandkids or anything. After we leave here, I think we should find Dad and learn what really happened. If I’ve learned anything today, it’s that there’s usually another side to the story.”

"That would be nice, except I can't leave."

“Oh, come on, Elina. You still need to take responsibility for your sins,” Alannah says. “What about those married men you were with? You were married too, weren’t you? Are you going to say that wasn’t a sin?”

“I did what I had to do,” Elina replies. “We moved to Denver a couple of years after it became the state capital, and the city was growing fast. My husband, who only knew logging and milling, tried working in the mines but couldn’t earn enough to support us. He took jobs in warehouses and stores, then got caught up in a movement to unionize workers, which caused trouble. Then he got sick and could barely work at all.

We were scraping by until we weren’t, so I took a job waiting tables in a saloon. I had two babies to feed, so I did what was necessary. Luckily, my body stayed youthful after having kids, like when I was sixteen. I was proud of my beauty, but it was a curse. To keep my job, I had to do things with the bosses, then their friends. I was passed around like a toy. Eventually, they sold my services to customers for money, and all I got was my wages and maybe a small tip. I couldn’t take it anymore and quit, but there were no other jobs I could do.

Men kept coming, offering money—lots of it. So, like it or not, that became my work. I had a sick husband and two babies to care for, so I did it. I was good at it, too. I showed those men what it meant to be with a real woman. Soon, I had too many clients, so I hired other girls to work with me. Before long, I was contracting with saloons to provide girls for their customers. I trained them well—they could make a man feel like a god. But the city turned against me, mostly the women. The men called us evil but didn’t say much since most had used our services or hoped to.

Those women should’ve thanked us. They’d taken good men and ruined them with their immaturity, and we showed those men how to treat a woman right. Those bitches were swooning with the quivers like they had never felt before after we got their men trained in the ways of pleasing a woman. Their wives were thrilled after we taught their husbands how to please them. I did what I had to do, and I did it well. I kept my family fed and my husband alive the only way I knew how. That’s not a sin, Alannah. That’s using the talents God gave me. I can’t confess it as a sin because it isn’t.”

“I’m so sorry, Elina,” Alannah says, tears streaming down her face. “I had no idea you went through such awful things. I knew you and Mom didn’t get along, but I didn’t realize it was this bad. And the things you had to do to survive—I can’t imagine. I’m proud of you, though, for getting through it and, as you always do, turning a terrible situation into something meaningful. But that was on a planet that’s been gone for ages. There hasn’t been a human there in over twelve thousand years.

Don’t you think it’s time to stop being a victim of a dead world? We might repopulate Earth soon, or somewhere else—you’ve probably read about it in your papers. Wouldn’t your time be better spent preparing for a new life instead of reliving past sins? This whole idea of buying your way out of hell by confessing some made-up sin is absurd. You made these rules, not God. So change them. Forgive yourself—you’re the only one judging you. Come home with me. Let’s build a future instead of staying stuck in a past that’s gone forever.”

“Elina, if I may, I think I can help you and Alannah find a solution,” Maureen says.

“Go ahead, therapist lady. Let’s see what you’ve got,” Elina replies.

“Thank you,” Maureen says. “I’ve listened closely to your conversation, and it reminds me of my own past when I was very religious and worried about sin. I tried to avoid it but always fell short. I finally made peace with sin by understanding it in a way that fit my beliefs. Though I no longer see God or sin that way, I can use what I learned to help today. Let me propose some definitions to see if they work here. I define sin as deliberately breaking God’s law. I define repentance as turning away from that violation and choosing to follow God’s law. Do those definitions sound fair?”

"So, if I may, let me try a few of my definitions and see how they will fit in this situation. I define sin as the deliberate violation of Gods law. I define repentance as the turning away from the deliberate violation and then making the deliberate choice to obey Gods law. Are those definitions acceptable to you?"

“That seems about right,” Elina says.

“Good. Let’s go further,” Maureen continues. “Let’s summarize God’s law in two words: Love and Truth. God’s law is the law of Love and the law of Truth. How does that sound?”

“I can agree to that,” Elina nods.

“With those definitions, we can say sin is deliberately choosing hatred over Love or falsehood over Truth,” Maureen explains. “Let’s simplify it even more: Love and Truth are Light, and their opposites are darkness. Sin is choosing darkness over Light. Can you accept that?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Elina says. “So what’s your point?”

“Here’s my point, Elina,” Maureen says. “Based on what you’ve shared today, you claim you haven’t sinned, and with our definitions, I agree. In every case, you chose Light over darkness, even when it was hard to see the difference. But there’s one sin you’re committing right now. By staying in this place of punishment, when you know you’ve done nothing to deserve it, you’re choosing darkness over Light. That’s your sin. To repent, you must choose Light over darkness, which means leaving this place. You can come with us and let this domain fade, or transform it into something other than this sad little hell.”

Elina smiled broadly and held up her hands. "Help me up girls, I haven't been out of this chair for many a year."

Alannah jumped up clapping her hands together in joy. "Elina! You passed your test?"

Elina’s smile grows even bigger. “No, Sweetie. You passed your test. Now let’s get out of this hell. I think we have some serious shopping to do. But first, I need your help with something. Keep holding my hands, please, and both of you focus on the image of me you remember—the one from your sketch. I’ve forgotten my youthful form, but you haven’t. Close your eyes and concentrate. Keep them closed until I say to open them.”

The girls stand with their eyes closed for several minutes. Alannah feels a cool breeze, then hears the sounds of people and hover cars overhead. Unable to resist, she opens her eyes and sees a stunningly beautiful young woman in her mid-twenties standing before her. They’re in a park in a city, across from a familiar all-night diner.

“Welcome home, Sister,” Alannah says, tears of joy flowing freely. “There’s a shop right across the street. Let’s get you out of that old dress. Then—it’s party time!”