Therapist:** Maya, I`m glad you came in today. How are you feeling about our conversation last week regarding the living arrangement with your foster family?
**Maya:** [fidgeting with her sleeves] I can`t stay there anymore, Dr. Chen. I know you think it`s better for me, but you don`t understand. My mom needs me.
**Therapist:** Tell me more about what you mean when you say she needs you.
**Maya:** She`s... she`s not doing well. Last time I saw her, she hadn`t eaten in two days. She was shivering in this horrible place with all these scary people, and she looked so small and lost. Like a little kid, you know? I`m the only person who really cares about her.
**Therapist:** That sounds like it weighs heavily on you, feeling responsible for your mother`s wellbeing.
**Maya:** [voice rising] I`m not just `feeling responsible` - I AM responsible! Everyone else has given up on her. Her family, the system, everyone. If I don`t take care of her, who will? She`ll die out there.
**Therapist:** Maya, when you`re with your mother, how does she typically treat you?
**Maya:** [long pause, looking away] She... she`s going through a lot right now. The addiction makes her say things she doesn`t mean.
**Therapist:** What kind of things?
**Maya:** [quietly] Sometimes she tells me I`m stupid, or that I`m just like my worthless father. Last week she screamed at me in front of all these people about how I was embarrassing her, just because I asked if she wanted some food I brought. She called me a `pathetic little b****` and told me to get lost.
**Therapist:** How did that make you feel?
**Maya:** [tears forming] It hurt. It really hurt. I ran away and cried for like an hour. But then I realized she was probably just hungry and sick from withdrawal. When I came back, she was passed out, and I cleaned up around her and made sure she was breathing okay.
**Therapist:** So when your mother hurts you, your response is to take care of her more?
**Maya:** She needs me! You should see her when she`s really sick. She gets scared and confused, and I`m the only one who knows how to calm her down. I hold her hand and tell her everything`s going to be okay, and she actually listens to me then.
**Therapist:** Maya, I can see how much you love your mother. But I`m concerned about what you`re being exposed to when you`re with her. Can you tell me about that?
**Maya:** [defensive] I can handle myself. I`m not some naive little kid.
**Therapist:** I don`t think you`re naive. But you mentioned she`s staying in trap houses. What`s that environment like?
**Maya:** [hesitating] It`s... intense. There`s always people coming and going, doing business. My mom says I`m smart and could make good money helping out. She says the foster system is just trying to control me and that I could be independent.
**Therapist:** What kind of help does she suggest?
**Maya:** [very quietly] Just like... delivering things sometimes. Or keeping watch. She says it`s easy money and that I need to learn how the real world works instead of living in some fake bubble.
**Therapist:** How do you feel when she asks you to do those things?
**Maya:** [conflicted] I mean... I want to help her. And she gets really happy when I say yes. She tells me I`m her `smart girl` and that she`s proud of me. But... [voice breaking] sometimes I get really scared. The people there aren`t very nice, and I`ve seen some really bad things happen.
**Therapist:** That sounds terrifying, Maya. You mentioned she`s proud of you when you help with these activities. How does she treat you when you say no?
**Maya:** [long silence] She... she gets really angry. She says I think I`m better than her, that I`m judging her lifestyle. She tells me to go back to my `precious foster family` if I`m too good for her world. Sometimes she won`t talk to me for days.
**Therapist:** So you`re in a position where you feel like you have to choose between your safety and your mother`s love?
**Maya:** [crying now] You don`t get it! She`s my MOM. She`s the only family I really have. Yes, she`s sick right now, and yes, she makes mistakes, but underneath all that, she loves me. I know she does. When she`s having a good day, we laugh together and she tells me stories about when I was little. She needs someone to believe in her.
**Therapist:** I can hear how much pain you`re in, Maya. Love and harm can exist at the same time, and that`s one of the hardest things to navigate.
**Maya:** [wiping tears] Everyone keeps trying to separate us, but that just makes everything worse. When I`m not there, she gets more reckless. At least when I`m with her, I can try to keep her safe, make sure she doesn`t overdose or get hurt by dangerous people.
**Therapist:** It sounds like you feel you`re protecting each other, but I wonder... who`s protecting Maya?
**Maya:** [quietly] I don`t need protecting. I need my mom.
**Therapist:** What if we could find ways to support your mother while also keeping you safe? What would that look like to you?
**Maya:** [hopeful but skeptical] Is that even possible? Everyone always makes me choose.
**Therapist:** Maya, I want you to know that whatever you share with me, I`m not going to judge you. But I am concerned about keeping you safe. Can you tell me more about what `surviving in that world` means for you?
**Maya:** [looking down at her hands] You really won`t judge me?
**Therapist:** I`m here to understand and help, not to judge.
**Maya:** [taking a shaky breath] I`ve... I`ve had to do things. Things I never thought I`d do. Like, when we don`t have money for food or when my mom is really sick and needs something...
**Therapist:** What kind of things, Maya?
**Maya:** [barely audible] I steal stuff. From stores, mostly. Food, sometimes other things we can sell. My mom taught me how to do it without getting caught. She says it`s not really wrong because these big companies don`t care about people like us anyway.
**Therapist:** How do you feel when you`re doing that?
**Maya:** [conflicted] Scared. Really scared. But also... I don`t know, kind of proud? Like I`m taking care of us, you know? My mom always says I`m so brave and clever afterward. But then sometimes I lie awake at night feeling sick about it.
**Therapist:** That must be exhausting, carrying those conflicting feelings. Is there anything else you feel you need to tell me about surviving in that environment?
**Maya:** [long pause, then very quietly] I... I`ve used stuff too. Drugs, I mean.
**Therapist:** [calmly] Thank you for trusting me with that. Can you tell me more?
**Maya:** [tears starting] It`s not like I wanted to, okay? But when you`re in those places, and everyone around you is using, and you`re scared and tired and everything hurts... Someone offered me something to help me feel better, and I... I took it.
**Therapist:** What was that experience like for you?
**Maya:** [wiping her eyes] At first, it made everything stop hurting so much. The fear, the worry about my mom, all of it just... went away for a while. But then I felt worse after. And I got scared because I understood why my mom can`t stop. It felt too good, you know?
**Therapist:** That`s a very mature insight, Maya. It sounds like you recognize the danger in that.
**Maya:** [nodding] But that`s the thing - in that world, it`s just normal. Everyone does it. My mom says it`s how you cope with how hard life is. She says people in their nice houses with their perfect lives don`t understand what it`s like to hurt all the time.
**Therapist:** Your mom tells you these things are necessary for survival. But I`m wondering - how do YOU feel about the person you`re becoming in that environment?
**Maya:** [breaking down] I hate it! I hate who I am when I`m there. I never wanted to be someone who steals or... or uses drugs. But I don`t know how else to survive there, and I can`t leave my mom. It`s like I`m trapped between being the person I want to be and being the daughter she needs.
**Therapist:** That`s an incredibly painful place to be. You`re essentially being asked to sacrifice your own values and safety to maintain your relationship with your mother.
**Maya:** [sobbing] But what if I leave and something happens to her? What if she dies and I could have prevented it? How could I live with myself?
**Therapist:** Maya, what if I told you that your mother`s survival isn`t actually dependent on you putting yourself in danger?
**Maya:** [looking up] What do you mean?
**Therapist:** There are adults - professionals, treatment programs, social services - whose job it is to help people like your mother. Your job is to be a teenager, to be safe, to grow up healthy. When you`re stealing and using drugs to survive in her world, you`re not actually helping her get better.
**Maya:** [quietly] But she says no one else understands her like I do.
**Therapist:** She may believe that, but Maya... do you think it`s fair for a parent to ask their child to break laws and risk their safety to prove their love?
**Maya:** [long silence] I... I never thought about it like that.
**Therapist:** [noticing Maya`s increased distress] Maya, I can see this is really difficult for you. You`re being incredibly brave by sharing these things with me. Is there anything else you feel ready to talk about?
**Maya:** [very long silence, staring at the floor, voice barely a whisper] There`s... there`s other stuff too.
**Therapist:** [speaking very gently] I`m here to listen, whatever it is.
**Maya:** [hands shaking] My mom... sometimes she... [stops, takes several shaky breaths] I can`t... it`s hard to even say it out loud.
**Therapist:** Take your time. There`s no pressure. But I want you to know that whatever happened, it`s not your fault.
**Maya:** [still not looking up] She would... she`d have me talk to men. At first she said I was just being friendly, helping her make connections, you know? But then...
**Therapist:** [very softly] Then what, Maya?
**Maya:** [voice breaking] Then it became more than talking. She said... she said it was just what we had to do to survive. That I was helping the family. Sometimes it was to get drugs for her when she was really sick. Sometimes it was because there was some guy she liked and she thought... she thought if I was nice to him first, he`d want to be with her too.
**Therapist:** Maya, I`m so sorry. What you`re describing is not okay. That should never have been asked of you.
**Maya:** [finally looking up, tears streaming] The weird thing is, I can`t really remember a lot of it. Like, I know it happened, but it`s all foggy and weird in my head. Sometimes I wonder if I`m making it up or something.
**Therapist:** That`s actually very normal, Maya. When our minds experience trauma, sometimes they protect us by making those memories less clear. It doesn`t mean you`re making it up - it means your brain was trying to protect you.
**Maya:** [sobbing] But I let it happen. I didn`t fight hard enough. And afterwards, my mom would be so happy and grateful, and she`d tell me I was her special girl and that she couldn`t survive without me. So part of me thought... maybe it was worth it?
**Therapist:** Maya, listen to me carefully. You were a child. You are still a child. None of this was your choice or your fault. Your mother put you in an impossible situation where you felt you had to sacrifice yourself to keep her alive and happy.
**Maya:** [crying harder] But if I hadn`t done it, what would have happened to her? She gets so desperate when she`s sick. She might have gotten hurt or...
**Therapist:** Maya, your mother`s addiction led her to put you in danger in ways that no parent should ever do. That`s not love - that`s using someone you`re supposed to protect.
**Maya:** [confused and distressed] But she always said she was protecting me in her own way. That she was keeping me close so nothing bad would happen to me...
**Therapist:** What she was doing was the bad thing that was happening to you, Maya. Real protection would have been keeping you away from those situations entirely.
**Maya:** [very quietly] Sometimes I feel like I`m two different people. Like there`s the Maya who loves her mom and would do anything for her, and then there`s this other Maya who feels so angry and hurt and... dirty. And I don`t know which one is real.
**Therapist:** Both of those feelings are real, Maya. You can love your mother and still be hurt by what she`s done to you. You can want to help her while also recognizing that what happened to you was wrong.
**Maya:** [wiping her face] What happens now? If people find out what I did...
**Therapist:** What happened to you, Maya. Not what you did. And right now, my main concern is making sure you`re safe and getting you the help you need to heal from this trauma.
**Therapist:** Maya, there`s something important I need to make sure you understand about your current situation. Do you know why you`re in foster care right now?
**Maya:** [wiping her eyes] Because the state thinks my mom can`t take care of me properly. But that`s not true - we take care of each other.
**Therapist:** Maya, you`re in foster care because there`s a court order in place. Your mother is legally required to stay away from you right now. Do you understand what that means?
**Maya:** [looking confused] I... what do you mean legally required?
**Therapist:** The court has determined that contact between you and your mother is harmful to you, and they`ve ordered her not to see you or contact you. If she violates that order - if she allows you to come back to her - she could face serious criminal charges.
**Maya:** [sitting up straighter, alarmed] What kind of charges?
**Therapist:** She could go to prison, Maya. For a long time. Years, potentially.
**Maya:** [voice rising in panic] What? But that`s... that`s not fair! I`m the one who keeps going back to her! She`s not forcing me!
**Therapist:** The court sees it differently. As the adult, she`s considered responsible for maintaining appropriate boundaries to protect you. Every time you return to her and she allows it, she`s violating that court order.
**Maya:** [standing up, pacing] No, no, no. This is all wrong. If I hadn`t told anyone about... about what happened, none of this would be a problem. She wouldn`t be in trouble.
**Therapist:** Maya, please sit down. This is not your fault. The court order exists because of choices your mother made, not because you spoke up.
**Maya:** [sitting back down, but agitated] But if I go back to her now, she could go to prison?
**Therapist:** Yes. And Maya, think about what that would mean. If your mother goes to prison, you definitely won`t be able to help her. You won`t be able to take care of her at all.
**Maya:** [putting her head in her hands] This is all so messed up. I just want to help her.
**Therapist:** I know you do. And I`m going to tell you something that might be hard to hear, but I need you to really listen. The best way to help your mother right now is to stay away from her.
**Maya:** [looking up incredulously] How can staying away from someone help them?
**Therapist:** Right now, your mother has an opportunity. She can focus on her recovery without worrying about taking care of you or putting you at risk. But if she violates the court order, she`ll end up in prison where she definitely can`t get the help she needs.
**Maya:** [quietly] But what if she dies while I`m not there?
**Therapist:** Maya, you being there hasn`t stopped her from almost dying before, has it? You`ve told me about times you were terrified she might overdose even with you right next to her.
**Maya:** [reluctantly] That`s... that`s true.
**Therapist:** Your presence isn`t actually keeping her alive. And by staying away, you`re giving her the chance to face her addiction without feeling like she has to take care of you - or worse, put you in danger to survive.
**Maya:** [voice small] But she needs me. She tells me I`m the only good thing in her life.
**Therapist:** Maya, that`s actually part of the problem. It`s not fair to make a child responsible for being the `only good thing` in an adult`s life. That`s too much pressure for anyone your age.
**Maya:** [crying again] So what am I supposed to do? Just abandon her?
**Therapist:** You`re not abandoning her. You`re following the law and protecting both of you. And Maya, you`re also giving yourself a chance to heal and grow up safely. Don`t you think your mother would want that for you, if she was thinking clearly?
**Maya:** [long pause] Sometimes... when she`s really lucid, she does say she wants me to have a better life than she did.
**Therapist:** What do you think she means when she says that?
**Maya:** [very quietly] Maybe... maybe she means she doesn`t want me to end up like her?
**Therapist:** What would it look like for you to honor that wish?
**Maya:** [wiping her eyes] I guess... staying in school. Not doing drugs. Not stealing. Not... not doing the other things.
**Therapist:** Exactly. And you can`t do any of those things if you`re back in that environment with her. So by taking care of yourself, by staying in foster care and working on healing, you`re actually doing what she says she wants for you.
**Maya:** [looking conflicted] But it feels like I`m betraying her.
**Therapist:** I understand why it feels that way. But Maya, real love sometimes means making difficult choices. If staying away keeps her out of prison and gives you both a chance at a healthier future, isn`t that actually the most loving thing you can do?
**Therapist:** Maya, I know this is an enormous amount to process. We`re going to need to continue working through all of these feelings, but our time is up for today. How are you feeling right now?
**Maya:** [exhausted] I don`t know. My head is spinning. I never thought about my mom going to prison because of me coming back to her.
**Therapist:** Remember - not because of you. Because of the choices she would be making. But I`m glad you understand the situation better now.
**Maya:** [quietly] Yeah. I guess.
**Therapist:** We have another appointment scheduled for Thursday. Between now and then, I want you to focus on staying safe and staying put. Can you commit to that?
**Maya:** [hesitating] I... I`ll try.
**Therapist:** Maya, `trying` isn`t enough here. Too much is at stake. Can you commit to staying in your foster placement until we meet again?
**Maya:** [after a long pause] Yes. I`ll stay.
**Therapist:** Good. Mr. Rodriguez is waiting outside to take you back. I`ll see you Thursday at 2 PM.
**Mr. Rodriguez:** [standing up from his chair] Maya. How did the session go?
**Maya:** [shrugging] Fine, I guess.
**Mr. Rodriguez:** [looking between Maya and the therapist] Dr. Chen, anything I need to know for Maya`s safety?
**Therapist:** We had a very productive conversation about the importance of Maya staying in her current placement. I think she has a much better understanding of the legal situation now.
**Mr. Rodriguez:** [nodding] Good. Maya, walk with me.
**Mr. Rodriguez:** [as they walk] So let`s be clear about where we stand. This is your third runaway incident in four months. Judge Martinez was very specific at your last hearing - one more unauthorized absence from your placement and you`re looking at secure detention.
**Maya:** [defensively] I wasn`t trying to cause trouble. I was just-
**Mr. Rodriguez:** [interrupting] Maya, I don`t want to hear about your reasons right now. I want to hear that you understand the consequences. Do you know what juvenile detention means?
**Maya:** [quietly] Yeah.
**Mr. Rodriguez:** Tell me.
**Maya:** [reluctantly] It means jail for kids.
**Mr. Rodriguez:** That`s right. And unlike your foster home, you can`t just walk away from detention when you don`t like the rules. No visiting friends, no going to regular school, no therapy sessions in comfortable offices. You`ll be locked up 24 hours a day.
**Maya:** [looking down] I get it.
**Mr. Rodriguez:** [stopping and turning to face Maya] Do you? Because your foster mom, Mrs. Patterson, called me yesterday worried sick because you`d been talking about how much you miss your mother. She`s afraid you`re planning to run again.
**Maya:** [fidgeting] I wasn`t planning anything.
**Mr. Rodriguez:** Maya, look at me. I`ve been doing this job for twelve years. I can tell when a kid is getting ready to bolt. And right now, you have that look.
**Maya:** [meeting her eyes reluctantly] What look?
**Mr. Rodriguez:** The look that says you think you know better than all the adults trying to help you. The look that says you`re willing to throw away your future for someone who put you in danger.
**Maya:** [voice rising slightly] She`s my mother!
**Mr. Rodriguez:** [firmly] And I`m your probation officer, which means right now, I`m responsible for keeping you out of jail. So here are your options: You can stay with Mrs. Patterson, follow the rules, and keep your therapy appointments. Or, if you can`t handle the freedom of foster care, I can recommend you for a group home with more supervision.
**Maya:** [alarmed] A group home?
**Mr. Rodriguez:** Six girls, house parents, structured schedule, no unsupervised time. Some kids need that level of oversight until they prove they can make good choices.
**Maya:** [quickly] No, I can handle staying with Mrs. Patterson.
**Mr. Rodriguez:** [studying her] Can you? Because handling it means no contact with your mother. It means following curfew. It means going to school every day and coming straight home. It means telling Mrs. Patterson or me if you`re having thoughts about running.
**Maya:** [after a pause] What if... what if I just want to know how she`s doing?
**Mr. Rodriguez:** Maya, that`s exactly the kind of thinking that gets you in trouble. There is no `just` checking on her. There`s no `quick visit` to see how she is. Any contact with your mother violates the court order and lands both of you in deeper trouble.
**Maya:** [frustrated] So I`m supposed to just pretend she doesn`t exist?
**Mr. Rodriguez:** You`re supposed to focus on your own life. Finish high school. Get therapy. Learn to make decisions that don`t revolve around someone else`s addiction.
**Maya:** [quietly] That`s harder than it sounds.
**Mr. Rodriguez:** [softening slightly] I know it is. That`s why you have support - Mrs. Patterson, Dr. Chen, me. But Maya, I need you to understand something: I can`t help you if you keep running. The next time you disappear, my hands are tied. Judge Martinez will order detention, and there won`t be anything I can do about it.
**Maya:** [looking scared] How long would I be in detention?
**Mr. Rodriguez:** Could be months. Could be until you turn eighteen. Depends on how many times you violate probation and what the judge thinks it will take to get your attention.
**Maya:** [very quietly] I don`t want to go to jail.
**Mr. Rodriguez:** Then don`t run. It`s that simple. When you feel like you want to see your mom, call Dr. Chen or Mrs. Patterson or me. When you feel like the rules are stupid, remember that they`re keeping you out of detention. When you feel like no one understands, remember that we`re the ones showing up for you every day.
**Maya:** [nodding slowly] Okay.
**Mr. Rodriguez:** I need more than okay, Maya. I need a commitment.
**Maya:** [taking a deep breath] I commit to staying at Mrs. Patterson`s and not running away.
**Mr. Rodriguez:** Good. My car is outside. Let`s get you home, and you can tell Mrs. Patterson about that commitment yourself.
