Imbibition

Earth: Ishikari watershed: 5250 AD.

"What do you think you're doing, young lady?" Penelope asks, her voice carrying that familiar mix of surprise and mild exasperation as she watches Hoshiko approach her bed.

"Crawling into your bed," Hoshiko replies matter-of-factly, already pulling back the covers.

"And why exactly would you be doing that when you have a perfectly good bed of your own in the kids' room?"

"Because I need some snuggle time with my Grandma." There's something almost wistful in her voice, like she's reaching for comfort from a simpler time.

"We haven't had snuggle time since you were four, sweetheart. That was ten years ago. Why do you suddenly need snuggle time now?"

"I just do. I want to relax, and talk about stuff." Her tone suggests there's more weight to this "stuff" than casual conversation.

"I'm sort of busy right now, Hoshiko. I really want to finish this book." Penelope gestures vaguely at the pages scattered around her, though her protest sounds half-hearted.

"You mean you want to finish editing. I can see your red ink jar is out, so what you're really doing is working. Well, work time is over. Snuggle time has officially begun." Hoshiko's voice takes on a playfully authoritative tone. "Just because we got that printing press working doesn't mean you have to shoulder everything yourself. So put your pen down and let me in."

"Okay, okay. Guilty as charged – I was working. But see? I'm putting away my pen right now." Penelope sets her work aside with an indulgent smile. "So what's on your mind, little one? What can Grandma help you with?"

"I want to hear a story. Tell me about Alannah."

"Alannah? Honey, she's your great aunt. She lives just a mile down the road and you see her practically every day. Why do you need a story about Alannah?"

"No, not like that. Tell me about Alannah when you first met her – the real first time. I want to hear that story."

"Well, that was twenty years ago when John and his family moved to our village. He brought his daughters with him, and Alannah was one of them. There really isn't much to tell – we helped them settle into the community, she found herself a good husband, had some kids who are around your age and play with you all the time. That's pretty much the whole story."

"No, Grandma. That's when they came to Earth. Tell me about when you met her before that."

"Before they came to Earth?" Penelope's voice takes on a careful, guarded quality. "I don't know what you mean, honey. What does it matter what happened before Earth anyway? How could we even know about that?"

"We know it because we were there, Grandma. You were there, Alannah was there, I was there too. Alannah already told me about the first time she met you – in that diner. But you don't want to remember anything from before we came here."

"I'm really not in the mood for this, Hoshiko. If you want to talk about things that actually matter, then I'm here for you. But if you want to discuss nonsense that has no bearing on the here and now, then honestly, I'd rather just go to sleep."

"This is important, and you really need to take me seriously." Hoshiko's voice grows more intense, more adult. "I have huge decisions coming up – like who I'm going to marry, who I want to become, whether I'll have children or not. To make those choices, I need to understand my purpose here, and my purpose has everything to do with where we came from and how we got here. It's time to talk about this stuff, Grandma. You can't keep avoiding it forever."

"Well, I think I can avoid anything I want to avoid. That's my prerogative as your grandmother." Penelope's tone becomes almost patronizing. "Don't worry yourself about marriage – there are plenty of good young men for you to choose from. Many of them are already asking about you, you know. You're quite the catch – beautiful, intelligent, and you'll make a wonderful mother someday. So don't go troubling your pretty little head with stories about other dimensions. We're here now, and that's what matters."

"So what, did we just pop up out of the ground like chrysanthemums? That's what John asked me."

"When did you talk to John?" There's a sharp edge of concern in Penelope's voice.

"Earlier today. We had quite a chat, actually. And when I mentioned that people were saying the stories about the before times were complete nonsense, that's exactly what he asked – 'Did we pop up out of the ground like chrysanthemums?' How do you answer that, Grandma?"

"Go ask your Grandpa John if you're so curious. He's always full of those silly stories anyway. Go pester him with these questions you're asking and leave me alone."

"No. I can't go back there. I don't like John anymore." Her voice drops, carrying hurt and embarrassment.

"You don't like John? Sweetie, John is the kindest man in the world. Why on earth don't you like your Grandpa John anymore?"

"Because I proposed to him, and he said no." The words come out in a rush, like ripping off a bandage.

"You proposed? Proposed what, exactly?" Penelope's voice is carefully measured, though there's growing alarm underneath.

"I told him he needed a wife, and that I could be his wife. But he turned me down because he's still in love with his precious Akasha." The bitterness in her young voice is almost heartbreaking.

"Oh my goodness, sweetheart. Yes, he'll never get over losing her, I don't think anyone could. But honey, why are you propositioning old men? If you're serious about finding a husband, you need to find yourself a young, strong one. All the women in my family have had... healthy appetites when it comes to their men, if you catch my meaning. You'd better find a young, strong one who can keep up with your needs, or you'll end up terribly frustrated." Penelope's frank tone suggests she's speaking from experience.

"Grandma! I've never heard you talk like that before! Now I'm completely embarrassed." Despite her protest, there's curiosity mixed with her mortification.

"I'm sorry, sweetie, but if you're old enough to talk about taking a husband, you're old enough to think about these realities. John is a wonderful man, but an old man isn't what a healthy young woman like you needs. Trust me on this – you'll understand exactly what I'm talking about when you're older and more... experienced."

"So Grandma, you said I was smart. And I am smart – really good at math, actually. On your last birthday, that cake said 76. So you're 76 years old, right?"

"Yes, unfortunately. Don't remind me." There's resignation and perhaps a touch of vanity in her sigh.

"Well, our city has that plaque that says it was founded in 5194. This year is 5250, so that was 56 years ago. But there are 20 years missing from your story. What, pray tell, was my dear Grandma doing for those missing 20 years? Or did you just pop up out of the ground like a 20-year-old chrysanthemum?" The smugness in Hoshiko's voice suggests she knows she's caught her grandmother in an inconsistency.

"We don't have a proper legal system set up yet, Hoshiko, but when we do, I'm absolutely certain you'll make an excellent prosecutor." Penelope's dry humor can't quite hide her discomfort. "Do we really have to hash this out right now? I'm getting sleepy."

"You were planning to stay up for hours editing that book of yours. I'm just going to lie here and pester you until you tell me the story – you know I will."

"Alright, alright. You win, counselor. What exactly do you want to know?"

"What I asked from the beginning. Tell me about when you really met Alannah."

"Okay." Penelope takes a deep breath, as if steeling herself. "My sister was having a really terrible day. She'd run off in this strange city and we were all worried sick about her. So my mom sent me to go find her. I eventually tracked her down to this little diner where she was just sitting there crying. I sat down next to her to try to comfort her and ordered something from the menu. There was only one waitress working that night, and I recognized her as Alannah – John's daughter, the one he thought he'd lost forever."

"You recognized her? So you'd seen her before you actually met her? Where did you see her that first time?"

"I saw her when she was just a little girl, at John's house in the woods." The admission comes reluctantly.

"That was over twelve thousand years ago. How exactly did you manage that?"

"Joshua transported us there briefly – to help my mom work through some issues that were absolutely driving her out of her mind."

"I knew it! I knew it, knew it, knew it, knew it!" Hoshiko's voice is triumphant, almost giddy. "Thank you so much, Grandma. I really, really needed to hear you say that."

"Don't take any of this seriously, Hoshiko. I just made all that up so you'd finally drop the subject and let me sleep."

"Aha! Got you, Grandma! You didn't just make it up, because I already knew the story. Alannah told it to me the first time we visited your folks at Penny Lake. We were all sitting by the lake having this big reunion picnic with John and his daughters, and Alannah told me the exact same story. You and Anahere were both there too, and neither of you were much older than I am right now."

"That's complete nonsense, Hoshiko. How could you possibly remember things from before you were even born?"

"Because I was alive as someone else before I was born as Hoshiko. Alannah's best friend back then was Maureen. I'm Hoshiko now, but back then, I was Maureen. Now I know for absolutely certain – I thought maybe I was just dreaming it all or making it up in my head. But now I know for sure. And now you know for sure too."

"I suppose if I was really going to fool you, I should have actually invented something completely new instead of just using the truth. Oh well." Penelope sounds both defeated and worried. "So now you know for certain. But I'm not comfortable with this at all, Hoshiko. You are Hoshiko now, and you need to BE Hoshiko, in the present. You can't let yourself get all tangled up in past memories from past lives on other worlds that have absolutely nothing to do with this place and time. You need to be who you are now, or you'll get completely lost in old memories that have no place in this world, in this reality."

"I understand, Grandma. You're just going to have to trust that I can keep the two separate and not get confused about who I am. And I think you can do the same thing. I know you miss your mom, and Anahere, and Ben and Penny terribly. But you can't just block them out and pretend they never existed. They're part of who you are, and you need to acknowledge that so you can be your whole, complete self instead of walking around with a huge chunk of yourself missing."

"See what I mean? Hoshiko didn't just tell me that – Maureen did."

"Yes, you're right. And I don't mean any disrespect by it. I am Hoshiko, absolutely. But I'm also Maureen. We're one person now. I'm not confused about that anymore – I can separate the two experiences and I can also embrace being both, because that's who I really am. I just spoke to you as Maureen, and there wasn't any confusion about it. Please don't worry. Right here, right now, in this time and place, I'm Hoshiko. But I also have this foundation of experience and wisdom I can draw from that comes from being Maureen. We're the new children of planet Earth, Grandma. And we're going to be just fine. You should understand that better than anyone, because you're Penelope, daughter of Sally and Patrick of Penny Lake, and you're the very first of these new children."

"Okay, but let's keep this conversation strictly between you and me. We don't need to go starting some new religion based on our experiences in Level 5. Remember, Level 5 has nothing whatsoever to do with the here and now, and it can't become some place you run and hide if things get difficult in this reality. Be Hoshiko and be fully alive, here, now. Let those memories of Maureen guide you when they're helpful, but always, always be Hoshiko first. Promise me you'll remember that."